Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Probably Not in Her Job Description


Years ago when I was working at a lame talent agency, the owner decided to rent out some extra office space to a production company for a month. This gave us a new group of people to socialize with at work, one of which was a boy my age.

***Now I don't make it a point to date people I work with. The only exception I have is if the person is on their way out the door. If I know they won't be around in 30 days, I'm all for it.

So this boy was very cute and I found him to be quite entertaining as well. He talked in this pimp voice and I thought it was a riot. We enjoyed slipping away for a few minutes in the afternoons to make out in the stairs or do a little groping in the elevator.

He invited me over to his place one night and insisted on showing me his favorite movie, Jackie Brown. I don't really remember much of it because he spent the entire time quoting lines from the film.

After the movie, we started a hot and heavy get down session. We were both nekkid in his bed when it slowly dawned on me that this pimp act he had going on wasn't really an act...his mac daddy talk was actually him trying to be all hardcore sexy.

I should have stopped right there. But I did not.

It was time for the condom and he put it on and went to go do the deed. I felt a little poke down below, but not much else. I told him it wasn't in yet.

But it was in!

In order to quell the embarrassment his ultra small peen had just caused, I wiggled underneath him a bit and proclaimed that it hadn't been ALL the way in before. He bought it and continued his playa playa routine.

Not two minutes later he made a sound like a strangled rooster and hopped off me. Before I could utter a word, he ripped the condom off and proceeded to ejaculate on the clothes in his open closet.

Like a fireman with a (very teeny) hose, he shot his wad all over everything. He made sure to aim up and down and side to side in order to coat all of his shirts, pants and ties.

Now, I've seen some weird stuff in my day, but this was the weirdest. After the shock wore off, I asked him why in the hell he wanted to jizz all over the clean clothes in his closet. And he answered...

...because the maid was coming the next day.

I don't know about you all, but I try not to leave unnecessary cum covered items for the maid to deal with. And just because she is coming over to clean doesn't mean one needs to purposely make extra work for her, right?

I hightailed it out of his house and was able to avoid him for the remaining four days he was part of our office. I accidentally left my jacket at his place, but after the horrors I witnessed there, there was no way I was asking for that thing back.

129 comments:

Jay said...

Ewwwwwwwwww ... what a freak!

That's pretty gross. I can't imagine doing something like that or even coming up with such an idea. Even for a scene in a porn movie. But if I ever write a screenplay for a movie (or porn movie) I'll add a scene where a guy does this. LOL

I'll totally give you credit too!

Ginormous Boobs said...

Jay, you are too late, my friend. It is already in one of my scripts :)

WendyB said...

I need psychological help after reading this post. The trauma!

Jon said...

I'm guessing this is an April Fools joke. If not, that's terrible.

Ginormous Boobs said...

Wendy: You and me both.

Jon: I am sad to say that this here story is no joke.

catherinette said...

It's shocking to me that you weren't interested in a long lasting relationship with this guy. He sounds like such a keeper.

Bt dubs, don't hate the playa, hate the game.

Ginormous Boobs said...

CS: I often daydream about the what if's with this guy.

I don't mind the playa or the game as long as everyone sticks to the rules - no lying, no cheating and NO cumming in the closet.

Twinkie said...

It has to be true 'cause you wouldn't make that up... GEEZ! Or should I say Jizz? LOL

Michael Young said...

Winston Churchill said it best: "It doesn't TAKE all kinds; there just ARE all kinds."

Yep -- that guy takes the cake (which he probably wanked on, too).

Mike said...

First of ROFLMAO! Second I can't believe you said it's not all the way in yet. Again ROFLAMO! I guess he had the hots for the maid to be blowing his load all over his clothes. What a wack job. Yet you let him get away.

The Ambiguous Blob said...

that's just fucking weird and I'm so happy it's your story and not my own.

Catherine said...

Wow! I totally love your blog, great stories, esp. airplane dude. I shall return!

jo said...

i can't believe this... for real?? that's just crazy!! so if he just dirtied all his clean clothes, what was he going to wear for the next few days?

Ms Leather N Pearls said...

OMG ... way to funny.

Christopha! said...

I am embarrassed at how easily I am aroused.

*Christopha shakes his head*

Beth said...

I think I might love him. I have a big closet filled with clothes; care to share his number?

R.E.H. said...

That guy sounds seriously demented! And, he cracks me up... LOL!

"It's not in yet"... how embarrassing! No wonder he had issues...

Thanks for the laugh!

ladyjaye82 said...

Ok - I just woke up and read this and I'm somehow believing this will now set the tone for the rest of my day.

Some Guy said...

I'm sorry you had to witness that, GB, but it was nice of him to reveal his disorder right off the bat so you didn't waste a lot of time on him. Plus, you got a hilarious story out of it! It's a win-win!

Tony Alva said...

The quoting every line of the movie should have been your cue to bolt out of there...

doorknob_dan said...

I don't see why this might be bizarre.

I guess he was just too quick?

Matt-Man said...

I've had your jacket dry cleaned, you can come by and get it whenever you'd like. Cheers!!

SkylersDad said...

Didn't he become a Congressman?

captain corky said...

There's no doubt that he probably came all over your jacket in hopes that he could give it back to you that way. LOL! What a fucking freak!

MisstressM said...

Oh my. What a catch he was. I am curious about one thing though. After his rooster act did he return to you and attempt to at least please you? Or were you sneaking out the door?

Slyde said...

What the fuck?

You promised everybody you would never tell!

It was supposed to be our secret...

awww damn...

Ginormous Boobs said...

Twinkie: I couldn't even dream this story up if I tried.

Michael: Ewww..wanking on fod items makes me want to hurl.

Mike: My life would have been so different if I had kept him...more sticky I imagine.

Ginormous Boobs said...

AB: At least he isn't gay!

Catherine: Welcome! Glad you enjoy all my pervy mishaps.

Jo: Who knows? Maybe he has one outfit he covers in plastic just in case.

Ginormous Boobs said...

MS: Welcome!

Christopha: And I am embarrassed at how easily this guy got in my pants.

Beth: I can definitely send you the link to his myspace page...will that work?

Ginormous Boobs said...

r.e.h: Glad you got a laugh out of it...someone should :)

lady: Boy, I hope your day turns around right quick.

Some Guy: Thank god for the stories...otherwise I'd be jumping off a bridge.

Infamous JP said...

I hope none you don't have any stories like that about me. I have my quirks, but that was just retarded.

Ginormous Boobs said...

Tony: It has since been added to my red flag list.

Matt-Man: Thanks! It's really the least you could do...

DD: You're Canadian...you wouldn't understand.

Ginormous Boobs said...

SD: Yep. He's in the district next to Chuck, the Christian plane jack off guy.

CC: That poor, poor jacket. Get it...JACK IT.

MisstressM: He did not try to please me, so I pleased myself by running far far away.

Ginormous Boobs said...

Slyde: I felt fellow bloggers should be warned.

JP: Besides the unfortunate hangnail incident and you "accidentally" calling me bitch instead of babe (don't deny it - there's video evidence), my steamy stories about you are of another type entirely. This girl has no complaints.

Amadeo said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

Beth said...

Only if his MySpace page includes photos of his closet ...

Mister Underhill said...

Well, one of my girlfriends had a brilliant solution for this. She would feel a guy's cock through his pance BEFORE she let him in or went to his place. If it wasn't up to snuff, she never called him again.

This guy reminds me of a guy at my office that sent out (for no apparent reason) an email titled 'the Schedule Of The PJ' to about 100 people in a mass email. Even more hilarious was that his schedule was that he had two meetings all week and that's it. At first I thought it was a joke but when I met him I realized he's just the kind of guy who talks about himself in third person at the workplace, in front of people in business suits.

Infamous JP said...

Ok, I have to ask. Without sounding gay..... What would say is bigger? his schlong or the size of the little blogger icon next to everyones name?

Ginormous Boobs said...

amadeo: Keep laughing at my expense.

Beth: I just looked. Sadly, there are no closet photos.

Underhill: I still think that's misleading. What if it's scary? Shaped like a cone? There are quite a few things that could make me bolt.

Ginormous Boobs said...

JP: His schlong is bigger, but not by much. Click on his photo at the top of my blog. You can see his peen outlined by his underwear.

He is not a shower and certainly not a grower.

And you cannot see that thing on google maps no matter how hard you try.

Winter said...

Ha!

Wonder Woman said...

HILARIOUS!

And sad.

Poor freaky fella ;-P

CarmenSinCity said...

Holy fucking shit. Are you joking? What a freaking weirdo. Oh gross!!!!!!!

I was with a guy recently and he pulled out and came on my stomach and I was pissed. I know that's pretty normal, but I was still annoyed. I'm a big fan of NO mess. I swallow because I don't like a mess, I'm on the pill because I don't like a mess. And - wow - that was a funny story. This is why I will NEVER be a maid!!!!!

Turnbaby said...

My god that's funny! I guess he got off on the maid touching his cum covered clothes.

blackdog said...

Do you really write scripts? Anything like Juno in the works?

Pronto said...

I actually can't believe I actually just read that.

So, so strange.

B.E. Earl said...

I've jacked it over some pretty weird stuff, but clean clothes in the closet should never be an option.

That shit can stain, yo!

Trukindog said...

I bet he video taped the maid when she collected those clothes and then spewed on the tv when he watched it...thats what I'd do if I was that FUCKIN NUTZ!

NWO said...

Ya know, I keep re-reading this. Feeling that I need to comment, to say something. But damned if I can come up with anything to say.

I
am
speechless

Mr Angry said...

I don't think it would be possible to run out of there fast enough. I have never heard a story quite that strange.

kirby said...

How....... akward.

I've never had a guy with a tiny peen, but I did have a guy once with a pencil ween. Seriously, it was like a Slim Jim.

Ginormous Boobs said...

Winter: HA is right!

WW: I have a tendency to attract freaks...

Carmen: For some reason, boys are really proud of the messes they make. And they think we are too.

Turn: I wonder if a maid ever returns after the first visit to his place.

Blackdog: I do, but I haven't written a movie script in forever and a day. Most of my work is producing now and I work with a team of dedicated writers. But thanks for reminding me to check out Juno.

Pronto: I can't actually believe it happened to me!

B.E: The dry cleaning bill must be OUTRAGEOUS!

Trukin: Your comment just made me laugh out loud..and snort

NWO: As was I.

Mr. Angry: I ran as fast as I could in heels.

Kirby: EWWW..I think pencil peens are even worse.

That Bitchy Chick said...

I've heard of coming out of the closet, but I've definitely never heard of cumming all over the closet! I've had some weird things happen...and even had to use the "it's not in yet" line but closet cummers....that's a new one! Ewww!

Amorous Rocker said...

"Not two minutes later he made a sound like a strangled rooster and hopped off me."

Rofl! Sorry but oh gosh that line just killed me.. with giggles.

What a flippin' weirdo. I wouldn't have asked for my jacket back after that either. ;)

Ginormous Boobs said...

Bitchy: I hope to never find a closet cummer again.


AR: Good thing for the shock or I would have laughed right in his face.

TheBirdman33 said...

At the start of this post, I thought I was going to be jealous of another guy "having" you but there really seems to be NOTHING to be jealous of there lol

I promise "IF" we were too, um...watch a movie...every part of it would be better than that. Jackie Brown is a piece of shit, that is for starters.

TheBirdman33 said...

And if that script every gets made, I would love to be in it but I think that the part may be too SMALL for me Hey Oh!

Globus said...

yes that is weird as fuck.

globus thinks you can (and should) dirty your copybook with company ink - however it's a path best trodden wisely! globus once had to change industries and relocate about 500 miles in order to leave one such conflagration behind him.

Mister Underhill said...

That's why everyone should have pictures of their genitals plastered all over their blog/house/car/dating profile/work computer like I do. Thankfully my penis is not shy.

Real Live Lesbian said...

Um...I think you just shot me over the top of the Kinsey scale to super-lesbian.

Double, no infinity EW!

Greg & Sheryl said...

One of the funniest and most bizarre one-night stand stories we've ever heard. Thanks for sharing.

Ginormous Boobs said...

Birdman: This story is forever old and I hardly felt "had" afterwards. And didn't you know, I have been saving myself for you evey since.

I like this "watch a movie" thing. Wanna "watch a movie" in my bedroom?

Globus: Damn restraining orders!

Underhill: Please let me know where I can find said peen pics!

Real: This was when I decided making out with girls sounded pretty friggin great.

G&S: Welcome! Scarily, I have more stories of this scary caliber.

Wonder Woman said...

We all "attract" freaks, it's learning they are freaks BEFORE they get freakyyyyyyy...

;) WW

Mister Underhill said...

http://japanlovesmisterunderhill.blogspot.com/2008/02/reach-out-and-touch-faith.html

I also have a bunch in the second to last post in feb of 2006.

Ginormous Boobs said...

WW: I'm working on that part.

Underhill: Hot damn. Nice cock!

Red said...

It's stories like these that make me glad to be single. Men are retarded.

Red said...

It's stories like these that make me glad I'm single. Men are retards.

Del-V said...

I also have a rule not to date people I work with. Or even people I might possibly work with in the future. This is why I only date the homeless.

TheBirdman33 said...

I dated and lived with my employee for a year and a half....awful awful mistake.

But she has better sex with a co-worker stories lol

TheBirdman33 said...

Is that a real pic of the guy or did you pull that off of a standardized "tool" pic list?

Ginormous Boobs said...

Red: It's rough sorting through all the tards to find the decent bunch.

Del-V: They probably aren't nearly as messy or crazy as this guy.

Birdman: I wanna hear her stories.
And yes, that's a real pic of him. I took it right off his myspace page. And don't bother looking...he's not on my friends list.

Wonder Woman said...

I know you're a brilliant woman already I just wanted to point out this comment:

"WW: I'm working on that part.

Underhill: Hot damn. Nice cock!"

Ummm, anything???

LMAO I think you found another ;-)

La, la, la...

Tequila Mockingbird said...

wtf. first of all, small weiners are bad news bears. secondly, i never trust a dude with a pimp voice; either they have a bad sense of humor or they are a douchebag (or possibly both). lastly, firemen jism? i wouldve punched him in the taint right there!

Pronto said...

73 comments and counting.

This had to have been a great post !!!!

I still can't get my handle wrapped around it, though...

Chris said...

That's the oddest story I've read all day. I'm not real sure what to say...

Slyde said...

i actually thought about this story again last night... it seeped into my brain

Ginormous Boobs said...

WW: See, I already KNEW Underhill was a freak. My freak-dar was going off like crazy with that one

Underhill: I mean freak in the nicest, most awesome possible way.

Tequila: Punching a dude in the taint is my power move.

Pronto: I'm a little shocked myself that this post went over big time.

Chris: Don't say anything...it's best not to speak about it.

Slyde: Go back to the Boobie Wars page and refresh your brain

tracey said...

can't.comment. can't. stop. vomiting. make. it. stop.

Farmer*swife said...

Tooo funny!!

Ginormous Boobs said...

Tracey: Sorry to cause sickness woth this post.

FW: Welcome. Too funny and tooooo scary.

Doc said...

That is about as odd and gross as it gets... and he didn't even please you... little pecker Loser

the princess said...

no way...that's just nuts!

you can't be a real pimp daddy playa-playa with a small dick. just can't happen.

Palm Springs Savant said...

OH MY GOSH what a FREAK! But a great story all the same.

coolmomma said...

Ginormous, Here's one for a script. You have my permission to use it if you like.
My best friend invited me to attend a formal dance at her college with a friend of hers. He needed a date and it's a pretty big deal to go to this event. I was very excited. Now, I'm what you would have called a fun girl back then. I'm no prude, but I don't have sex with men I just meet. Unless of course they are just really hot and I am really drunk!
Anyway, at the end of the first evening, we go to our respective hotel rooms to go to bed and that's when I realize, I'm sharing a room with him and not my friend.
So, we kissed a little,but when he tried to start having sex with me, I told him to beat it. Well, now that's just exactly what he did. However, he needed some lotion and ended up looking through my travel case for some. Unfortunately, the only kind he found was my self tanning creme. Again, unfortunately for him, he wasn't particularly concerned with hygene at the hour he completed his mission and when he woke up, he had orange hands!
I never said anything to my girlfriend for years, but she noticed his orange hands the next day when we were getting our formal pictures taken! 100% true story.

cyber mistress said...

poor maid. but mike's right. he used you to make the maid notice him!

Edtime Stories said...

I am having trouble saying anything..wow.
BTW new to blog and just love it, you are a very witty writer.

pistols at dawn said...

Wow. Since I'm late to the party, I already missed the "that picture of me isn't very flattering" joke, so I'll just go with:

Two minutes? What was he, some kind of superhero? I always touch up my wardrobe after like twelve seconds before saying, "Baby, that was great," and falling asleep.

Ginormous Boobs said...

doc: Consideration was not this guy's middle name.

princess: I wonder if he's still doing that pimp routine.

PSS: At least there is one positive.

Cool: Welcome! And OMFG that story is hilarious!!!! Way to be caught red (er...orange) handed!

Cyber: I wonder how many maids he pulled this on.

Ed: Welcome! Thanks for the compliment, but I think I just have a whole bunch of odd real life stories that make for good material.

Pistols: Ahhh to be the girl who gets to be part of those 12 glorious seconds!!

CarmenSinCity said...

I really hope to meet you too - so please please if u ever come out to Vegas - look me up because I would definitely hang out with you!!!!!!!!

Slyde said...

recalling this incident must really have phased you... you havent written anything since!

Wonder Woman said...

How did the removal of Gwenyth go?

g-man said...

LOL!!!!!!! Yeah better not to have it back, you never know what kind of surprises were in (or on) it.. :) TOo funny. Congrats on the boob wars!!!

The Offended Blogger said...

Well THAT is pretty sad and bizarre and slightly offensive.

Imagine where that poor bastard is today.

Probably tied up in some other freak's dungeon, because you know he only got worse with age.

Glad I followed you over from Truckindog's place. :)

So@24 said...

So. What happened to the jacket?

SagaciousHillbilly said...

What pisses me off about this story. . . I am a fairly nice guy who was always fit and good looking, but not aggressive. When I did get girls, they were always great looking girls, but they were few and far between.
Guys like you describe go out there and score constantly with chicks like you. Meanwhile, nonagressive (ok, I was fucking shy) guys like me stand around kickin the dirt wondering why we can't score with chicks like you.

SagaciousHillbilly said...

Recently, a friend told the story of a guy with a gigantic cock who snuck it in on her and damn near ripped her up.
My question. . . don't women reach down and grab that thing long before they spread their legs anymore? I don't think I ever had a woman who didn't know beforehand what was about to pass by her labia.

Ginormous Boobs said...

Carmen: What's this I hear about bloggers coming out your way in June?

Slyde: I've been having horrible flashbacks all week. Hopefully it will be better after the maid comes this week.

WW: Leslie is home, but very drugged up. She is still waiting on test results.

g-man: Thanks for the congrats! And no way did I ever want to touch that crusty (I am sure) coast again.

OB: Welcome! I am sure he is out there still terrozing the mean streets of Burbank. God only knows what's in his repetoire these days.

so@24: It's probably at the bottom of the 99 cent bin at the local Goodwill.

Hillbilly: Believe it or not, I'm super shy around boys and don't know how to throw any game. I love it when the shy guys make any kind of first move because then I'm not so scared.

And I was young when this happened. I now check all peens before they get anywhere near my girly bits.

Anndi said...

I think I dated his brother...

Renaissance Woman said...

OMG...that is so funny. I knew there was a reason I didn't ever want to clean houses. Who the hell does that? I have a similar story but I'll have to save it for later.

Mike said...

So I have to ask.

If his weeny was 6 inches long, you've just got a giant echo inducing cavern of sticky love.

If it was smaller, you're normal and he's got a tiny peen ;)

Cheesy said...

GB~ Reminds me of an old joke....


Q: How do you make your wife scream after sex for an hour?

A: Wipe your dick on the curtains.

Q: How do you make your wife scream louder?

A: Fuck her in the ass and THEN wipe your dick on the curtains.

cathouse teri said...

I think I just threw up a little in my mouth!

So THAT's why people don't date people they work with! Can you imagine if he continued to work there long term? Uggggggggh!

We girls are too kind with the boys and their little peens.

Anonymous said...

I remember that story! How is it that you attract the crazies? Yknow, old roommates and such..

Craze said...

Holy hell, what a freaky pimp dude he was!

Grant Miller said...

102 Comments? Jeeez...

I mean 103, now.

Sornie said...

Something is seriously wrong with a person like that. ut I'm pretty sure you knew right about when he spunked all over every article of fabric in his bedroom.

externalappearance said...

Oh my god... I'm so glad I opted to read your blog BEFORE taking a shower! I feel disgusted by that guy! Eww.

I'm starting to rethink the whole moving to States after graduation -thing, DreamJob or not... Or is it just California I should avoid?

Slyde said...

not only are you sexy, but you have transcended the power to blog and keep people posting without even putting up a new story...

you are a godess....

Krissyface said...

omg, that is so frickin hilar. I haven't laughed that loud on a Friday in a while. I had a guy come on a sock once. Does that count? Not really.

The Ambiguous Blob said...

seriously, this is getting old you guys. New post please.

Letty Cruz said...

JESUS, woman! Laughed so hard still HURTING !!

THIS is how I happen to be a blogaholic -- came from Globus' post on blogaholics -- I keep clicking into other commenters' sites and...there goes my precious time to do my nails, hair, scratch my but AAAAAAAAAAARRRRGHGHGHG this is my LAST Friday off for a LONG time, start an online class Monday, work is hell --- oh yeah, but I digress:

You had me at when you were poked by his teeny weeny and had to push it all around to make like you felt it ahahaaaaaaaaaaaa! Been there, unfortunately DONE THAT with a teeny weeny :`(

BLOGROLLED!

Ginormous Boobs said...

anndi: oh boy...where's the story about the brother..i must read?!?!

RW: have you posted that story yet?

Mike: Uh, it was maybe 3 inches and very very thin.

cheesy: I have all orts of bad images in my head now

cathouse: seriously, I should have made a big scene about his weird effing behaviour, but I didn't. I need to learn how to be mean a lot better.

anon (aka VC Boutique Mourner): I do attract a lot of freaks, huh...but so do you!

craze: at least he liked to believe so

sornie: if only i had known sooner...no one needs to see that kind of nonsense

EA: Uh, I'll be posting some midwest stories soon...you might want to just stay where you are.

slyde: why thank you! I have been preoccupied and have really dropped the blog ball. I need to do something about that right quick.

krissy: Depends on who was wearing the sock.

AB: Hey you guys, I'm tying to get ready for a martini party. Stop freaking like a blind bear.

Letty: SWEET...a local blogger!! I totally do the same thing with the blogging. It consumes me. Wanna come to amartini party out here in Ventura tonight and meet some other bloggers?

Ginormous Boobs said...

Grant: It's sick, right! I show a little tit and have all these comments. And you, the most fan-fucking-tastic writer out there...well it's just unfair!

Heff said...

"accidentally left my jacket at his place" ?!? Isn't that the typical "girl calls back" routine ? - Just curious....

Letty Cruz said...

AAAAAAARRR!! missed yr martini invite -- then again, made up for that last night ;D MUAH, gorgeous!

Pronto said...

just wanted to say,

hi,

just so i could see,

116,

how lame is that?










no, poems don't have to rhyme.

The CL Experiment said...

Your story reminds me of an ex's boyfreind. She reffered to him as Mr 2" 4seconds...he had the smallest penis ever seen. Of course she told me this story on our first date to which I responded.."easiest BJ you ever gave.." Maybe you should hook this guy up with Monica Lewinsky..I here she still has the dress..

Ordinarylife said...

Look on the bright side, at least you had not taken him back to your place!

Bittersweet Confusion said...

Silver Lining... You found this out early enough to run away really fast...

Valley Girl said...

Ewwwwww!

Gunfighter said...

Hi,

That was one hell of a post to find on my first visit to your blog!

The people in my office were all wondering what the loud laughter was about.

Le Meems said...

GUH-ROSS

Benedict Smith said...

wow. i just laughed out loud at work and had to show one of my co-workers this post.....ah, my morning just got a bit brighter. thank you. the fact that he wanted to validate himself by having some poor woman see jizz all over his cltohes....the poor woman will probably just think he's into all-male gangbangs to be honest....

Donn said...

Dude, you're supposed to come OUT of the closet!
Some people's kids eh?
What a f*ckin' maroon..and hung like a mouse to boot.

Ginormous Boobs said...

Heff: Typically, yes. But in this case NO FRIGGIN WAY.

Letty: I think we may have another party coming up soon!

Pronto: I dig poems in every way, shape or form!

CL: Yeah, it does make you seem like the deep throat champ.

OL: GREAT point!!

BC: Oh you should have seen my shoes smokin on the way out.

VG: Ewwwww is right. Wait, double EWWWWWW.

Gun: Well, you'll be happy to know I have quite a few other stories like this.

Meems: Word!

BS: Welcome! Honestly, I would love to be a fly on the wall in his therapy sessions.

Don: Yes, yes, yes to everything you said!

Moe Wanchuk said...

I don't know why all you ladies are repulsed by what this guy did. It's flat out hilarious. We all live to be involved funny sh*t like this. It makes us laugh, which makes life great.

And ladies....everyone of us dudes wishes we had a 10 inch crank.

Ginormous Boobs said...

Moe: Looking back now, it was totally worth it for the story alone.

wollyeinz said...

i used 2 jizz in milk if the cow was coming the next day..but this dudes behaviour is something special its GROSS (IMO) and embarrassing.
The guy should accept the fact his member beeing 2 small 2 operate properly, and concentrate on different facetts of life. Thats the biggest FAIL during sex, tryin 2 be cool i have read so far..Thanks and good luck 2 you

Chef Green said...

Oh---My---God. That was hideous. You're now my hero.

And I thought I'd seen some things!