Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Doctor Feel Good Chronicles - Pt 1

I was shopping around for a new general practitioner and flipping through the phone book. I settled on a female doc with a generic sounding name and went in for my appointment.

As soon as I opened the door, I started getting flustered. Not because the doctor's office freaked me, no, no.

There was the most hunky Cuban boy behind the counter. I stammered out my name and he winked at me and told me it was a pleasure to meet me.

His name was Marco and he RADIATED sexual energy. It was just pouring off him in waves and waves. He worked for the lady doctor as her physician assistant and also did EMT work.

After a short wait, Marco led me back to the exam room. I told him he could just skip the whole getting my weight part because, really, what girl wants to hop on a scale in front of some dreamy guy?

We flirted the entire time he took my history and somehow got on the topic of smoking marijuana. We then decided it would be a totally great idea if I went over to his house some time to sample his bud.

Uh, huh.

We exchanged numbers and didn't Marco call me the very next day. I had no desire to actually date this boy; he was going to be a strict booty call. The invite was for 11pm and he told me he was going to show me a good time.

I walked in and he whipped out a bong he kept in the fridge that was filled with ice. I smoked a teeny bit and was feeling pretty relaxed. He then asked if I wanted to watch a movie.

And wouldn't you know it, the VCR in the living room was broken, so we had to watch it in the bedroom.

Bom-chick-a-bom-bom...and you know the rest.

Marco was 6'4 and built like The Rock. Time with him was hot and sweaty and I loved the way he threw me around the room. Our booty calls were frequent and amazing.

And we couldn't get enough of it, so we took it to the next level.

I had been having some irregular heartbeats, so it was suggested I go get some EKG's done. This turned out to be great, because it gave me an excuse to visit Marco at work every week. And since Marco was the one who did the EKG's in the office, it gave us an excuse to close the door. It also provided a good reason for my shirt to be off.

But no matter how we racked our brains, there really was no good excuse for his pants to be down around his ankles.

He'd hook the electrodes up to my bare chest, we would be very, very dirty, and lo and behold, my heart would be pounding and the test results would look EXTREMELY abnormal. The doctor would insist on follow ups to recheck the results and for 6 weeks we kept this up.

Yeah, it was fun. And my insurance covered every dime.

I sent my sister to this same doctor because it was close to her work. She was blown away by Marci's sexiness, but said she could never go back. The entire time she was there, she kept wondering if she was sitting in the exact spot where her big sister had just gotten her lovin on.

After a few months, I met a boy I actually wanted to have sex with AND date, so my time with Marco ended.

And so it goes.

***I should mention that the last time I saw Marco, he was very excited about some dental work he had done. For some reason, he thought it was a good idea to have a diamond chip put on to front tooth as a decoration.

This made not seeing him anymore much less painful. A diamond in your tooth, seriously, wtf?


Matt-Man said...

Waiiiiiiiit just a minute.

You and Marco got it on at the office? And the Insurance company paid for it?

Marco is a diamond toothed Health Care Plan whore. And you missy, need to be spanked for carnal insurance fraud. Cheers!!

Ginormous Boobs said...



And believe me, the insurance company has been effing me harder than Marco for the past 10 years.


The Ambiguous Blob said...

Marco is straight gangsta.

Did the exam room doors have locks?!?!??

Ginormous Boobs said...

AB: No, there were no locks at all. Scandalous, right?

The thought of maybe getting caught was very, very hot.

Jay said...

I'm kinda hot for Marco myself and I'm straight. ;-)

Amadeo said...

Holy hell...that's the the bad guy from Remo didn't think I'd ever have a reason to bring that up in life.

SkylersDad said...

Getting insurance to pay for you fucking makes you officially my new hero.


NWO said...

Wow, my managed care plan doesn't cover any of that sex stuff. And the prostate exam just doesn't really float my boat.

Ginormous Boobs said...

Jay: I haven't seen him in almost 6 years, but I'm sure he's as hot as ever.

Amadeo: Did you know Dick Clark produced that flick? I am scared that I know this.

SD: Wow, I feel honored!!!

NWO: You obviously haven't received a proper prostate massage. When done correctly, I've been told it's the joy of all joys.

The Guv'ner said...

Hahahaha dude. You are my HERO.

But hey yeah. Draw that freaking line at diamond chips in teeth. It's probably some alien tracking device.

Still, a hot Cuban makes going to the doctor more pleasurable I am SURE.

I think from now on I am going to live vicariously through you! :)

jo said...

so he's build like THE ROCK as in the wrestler/actor THE ROCK? dude that's hot!

Ginormous Boobs said...

Guv: It's an old story. I'm only half as thrilling now.

jo: yep, the Rock, as in THE ROCK.

kittenpower said...

diamond chip in the tooth??
so glad you found someone to date!

I love that your sister was wondering a/b whether or not you'd had sex in the spot she was sitting! Very nice.

Ginormous Boobs said...

Kitten: I did not partake in hanky panky with him after that diamond was implanted - I wouldn't have been able to stop making fun of him.

Marco was way back in 2002...there's been a couple of boys since him :)

PinkPiddyPaws said...

Damn.... from the very beginning I was just *SURE* you were gonna say that Marco was gay and that you two became best friends and he changed his name to Tabbie and got a sex change and now you were roommates.... that'll teach me to jump ahead of the story. ha..ha.ha....

CarmenSinCity said...

hehehehe - he sounds HOT - but that tooth thing is ghetto!!!!! How cool that you met a guy at the doctor's office - very sexy.

pistols at dawn said...

That is the best insurance plan ever.

Also, I wish I could date a woman with easy access to Valtrex. Talk about one-stop shopping...

Ginormous Boobs said...

Pink:, but Tabbie should would look purty with a diamond in her tooth.

Carmen: It as fun while it lasted. But when the ghetto crept in, I was out of there.

POD: You should totally start dating Paris Hilton. She's got the dough to pay for your visit and a ginormous supply of the herp meds.

misstressM said...

Oh my! who is this doctor? I dont think I mind the 70 mile commute.

Ginormous Boobs said...

MisstressM: The doc is in Culver City. Wanna take a road trip with me and see what Marco is up to these days?

Palm Springs Savant said...

you ARE a naughty girl, but I like that. so....whatwas that doctor's name again??? lol

Ginormous Boobs said...

PSS: Yeah, I can be saucy at times for sure. And the name is Doctor Feel Good, of course.